I’m going to channel my client Nicole Lewis-Keeber and say that there’s a good chance you’re recreating these bad situations when you go looking for help without realizing it.

We have a tendency to seek out what we know, what feels familiar. If you’re familiar with being let down, you might be unconsciously seeking out people likely to let you down (because of their attitude, experience, or lack of skills). I have certainly done this myself and I’ve had to work hard to get really clear on the type of person who is actually going to help, even if that person might make me uncomfortable (because I have to up my game!).

In the case of hiring, especially, I would also examine how you’ve constructed the relationship. Can the person succeed on their own? Or is the relationship built so that they need you to succeed? 98% of the time, small business owners set up employee relationships as the latter. How could you give the person who is helping you 100% of what they need to really own a responsibility and succeed without your help?