This is spot on. I wonder if, as a society, we’re more okay with sort of “protected classes” than we are with real, messy human experience. For instance, I think it’s widely accepted to talk about “mental health,” “burnout,” or “depression.” But less okay to talk about how I don’t recognize myself or my voice when I’m on Zoom. It’s a completely dissociative experience at this stage of my depressive cycle. The details are too much for others to handle.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this because I wouldn’t expect to receive the details of, say, someone’s experience of cancer or liver failure. I’d take the bit of knowledge they were willing to share and give it all the seriousness it deserves. But with mental health, I can’t just say “I’m really depressed” and expect others to take my needs seriously. So I have been working on sharing specific details—which does lead to wide eyes (although, I’m certainly privileged for it to not affect my job in a material way) and stunned silence. But it’s also painful to me to have to constantly fight for people to take my illness seriously.